My Funny Valentines

Valentine's Day was a low-key event around here.  Clara and Ainsley woke up to little boxes of candy hearts and special Tinkerbell lip gloss on their breakfast placemats.  We made cards for Ed - using our thumb prints to make hearts, and Ed and I stayed in and made dinner.  The girls got a few surprises from Gran (thanks for the cards!) and Aunt Dawn (you are the best!) which made the day fun as well. 

Ed with the big girls

Clara with Madeline

Our sweet Madeline

Cards for Daddy...and loving the crowns
that Aunt Dawn made!

Sweet sisters!

Great news!!!

So...the biopsy results came back today and they were normal! What a huge answer to prayer!  When my phone rang this afternoon, I started shaking; I was just so nervous about the news I was about to hear.  As the PA shared the good news - ganglion cells on the biopsies - I immediately began to weep for joy.  There have been so many emotions over the last few weeks, and I am just so grateful to have received this precious news today! 


The last few days, we have been listening to our Seeds of Courage songs in the car as we travel about.  One of Clara and Ainsley's favorites is Isaiah 41:10...

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I love this verse, and I have experienced the truth of these words this week.  Although I have had moments of fear and anxiety, I have also felt peace and the upholding of the Lord in my weakness as well.  A reminder to me - I have no reason to fear...God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  We have also felt so much love from dear friends (as well as friends of friends of friends) who have loved us and prayed so fervently for Madeline this week.  Thank you, sweet friends and family, for loving us as you do!

As far as Madeline, we are just watching her for now, and she will follow up with the surgeon in 2 weeks for him to reassess her.  We are so grateful for our sweet baby girl, and especially grateful to the ever-present Father who gave her to us.

Ready for college?

Clara has declared that she is ready for college.  The prerequisites?  "I can read, ride my bike, and button my pajama top...I think I'm ready for college!"  However, when Ed reminded her that you live on your own in college, far away, she quickly changed her mind.  Apparently, she would like to be at home with us for a few more years....I think I'd like that too!  :)

The same yesterday today and forever

It has been a tough week.  For the past several weeks, we have been investigating some belly problems with Madeline.  It all began a few weeks ago with a swollen belly that has since resolved and an abnormal xray, and ended this week with another abnormal test and a likely diagnosis of Hirschsprung's disease.  In brief summary - it is a congenital disorder that affects the large intestine...nerve cells are missing in part of the bowel and if this segment is not removed, it could lead to major problems in Madeline's belly.  Madeline has continued to be a champ - eating and sleeping well with some occasional fussiness - but she has a hard few weeks coming up with a biopsy next week, and if that is positive, a major surgery soon after that.  It is incredibly hard to process right now...she is just so little and she's my baby...but I know that I have to strong for her and also for my big girls.  I also know that I have a Lord who will be my strength when I feel I have none, which is often.

In spite of bad news this week, there were blessings along the way...an incredibly kind radiology technician, loving strangers who prayed for Madeline (and an overwhelmed me) in the surgery clinic, and physicians who were gracious with their time and expertise.  I also have a sweet baby girl who looks great despite those abnormal tests!

A few weeks ago I wrote this post about some friends who were dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their little girl.  I wrote then that the Lord is the same - before and after any diagnosis - good or bad.  He is good, He is the same, He is LORD.  I still believe that to be true, even though I had no idea that in just a few short weeks, we would be walking in the midst of trying times in our own family.  This is our opportunity to walk the walk, and I am so grateful that we are not alone in this journey.  The Lord promises to be with us...He is God with us...He is our Immanuel.  Thank you, Lord, for that comfort.

Thanks also to all of you who have prayed and blessed us with words of encouragement, emails, calls, and unexpected visits (thanks, Cola girls!).   We are so grateful for dear friends and family who walk this path with us...what a blessing you all are!

Sweet Madeline

Here is a recent photo of our sweet baby girl.  She is full of smiles and coos these days, which blesses us tremendously.  Please keep her in your prayers as we navigate these next few weeks.

A tale of 3 nativities...

One of my favorite treasures to display at Christmas is a nativity set made by my sister-in-law, Catherine.  It was a wedding gift, and everything about it is special to me...it's rustic, it has fun fabrics, and there is only one of them.  It is probably my favorite thing to unpack as I am decorating for Christmas.  Well...this year, I had it displayed just so on a table in our family room....everything was perfectly spaced and in order, and I loved looking at it every time I walked by...

Well, as the week before and after Christmas passed, I noticed that every time I passed the nativity, it had been moved...everything pushed closely together, and obviously not how I had arranged it...

This may not seem like a big deal, but with my "OCD" traits, I of course rearranged it every time I noticed it had been played with.  Now, I knew that Clara was the likely "culprit" of the remodeling, but it wasn't until a few days ago that I thought to ask her why she kept moving the pieces of the manger scene.  Her response?  "They all want to be close to Jesus...so that he won't cry or be lonely.  They want to be near him."

A sweet moment...and needless to say, I left the nativity just as she had displayed it.  A reminder to me...I want to be near Jesus too...

As for the tale of the 3rd nativity?  Well, a picture is worth a thousand words...

I guess "My Little Pony" and Barbie's sweet horse want to be near too.  :)

You are good....

Easy words to say of the Lord when all is going well, but harder to swallow when things are not.  In the last few weeks, we learned some sad news from some dear friends.  Their sweet 4 1/2 year old daughter, Ansley Faith, was just diagnosed with lymphoma.  She has already undergone many procedures and has started her weekly chemo.

I also learned over Christmas break of my sister's friend, Kelly, who is carrying twin boys (Liam and Isaac), knowing that Isaac is very ill and will only live hours after birth.  Can you imagine?  So much joy and sadness intertwined...

Yet...the Lord is the same before and after these diagnoses...our Lord is the same.  He is unchanging, sovereign, and loving.  He is GOOD.  I don't understand it, yet I know it to be true, and I'm grateful it's true.  

My sister shared with me yesterday a story of an Alzheimer's patient she was working with in hospice.  As they were singing Christmas carols, the patient was trying to remember what a manger was.  My sister reminded her that it was the feeding trough that Jesus was placed in after his birth.  The sweet lady then, in a moment of clarity, remarked that she remembered....it was where God fed us Jesus!  

Thank You, Lord, for feeding us Jesus.  Thank You for hope.  Thank You that you are unchanging in the midst of joy, cancer, life, and death.  Please pray for these two sweet families as they grow to know the Lord deeper through their current situations.  Pray that they would feed on Jesus...

You are good, Lord...

Grateful

As the Christmas season has come and now passed, I am reminded that I have much to be grateful for.  Little Miss Madeline arrived on November 23rd, but not in the way we anticipated.  She surprised everyone (even my doctor!) by being breech.  That, unfortunately for me, led to a c-section with a much longer recovery, but as I am now a month out, it seems less dramatic than it did at the time.  Ed has been amazing, and the greatest husband and daddy that I could imagine.  He really stepped up and took charge with the kids, and his 3 weeks off was spent mostly on daddy duty as I was pretty much out of commission with the older girls.  I love you, babe, and appreciate you so much!  And as for Madeline, I am in love...

Clara and Ainsley took immediately to Madeline.  They of course have had their moments, but for the most part, they are crazy about her.  Clara has been amazed at how little Madeline can do and has declared that she must teach her how to do everything...smile, talk, crawl, eat, etc.  I have no doubt that her sisters will teach her many new tricks!  They are so sweet together, and I am incredibly in love with these 3 little miracles...

Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; sing to his name, for it is pleasant!  

Psalm 135:3